One of the challenges of the human condition is gathering the strength and the courage to break the barriers that we set up our love confrontation with personal problems and challenges. It seems that avoid and fear the twin assassins to personal progress. Why is it that some of us may motivate us daily tasks and long-term objectives? Why is it that others of us often prevent, delay and waste valuable time agonizing about our inability to perform self-rewarding behavior?
The implication of "want our success" affects every aspect of our lives. Some of us desire to lose weight, change jobs, exercise, make new friends, or learn new skills, but create resistance affect our chances for a positive outcome. Why we choose the path of destructive behavior even though we know that another course of action our desired goals and a sense of accomplishment will bring?
The will to act must be greater than the power to resist. In other words, the urge to accomplish a task or goal create an inner dynamism to its strength is irresistible. For some, this means a mounting cascade of frustration and anger, or a feeling of being fed up with the status quo. The constructive passion to drowns out the inner voice of slowness. People often tell me that an inner voice is hounding them, until the scream sounds of the change are strong enough to break the deadlock.
Often people will change because of the way a pattern of previous failure to resist. They might say, "I've tried that route and it didn't work." They can view the motivation to change as an either/or process. "I'm 100% success or I'm a total lice." They can look out onto the subtle changes that are required to complete a task. Unrealistic goals and set the stage for failure. An additional obstacle can pop up when a the improvement start and facing a period of regression. The back-scroll can be regarded as a monumental setback in place of a part of the growth process and a full-on to give a new attempt.
Those who are unmotivated tend to harbor self-blame. They themselves for their inability to change will fault or itself will chastise for each behavioral setback. With a mindset of the victim-pose, the unmotivated person will say, "it's no use; It doesn't matter how hard I try, I will always come up short; It's simply my nature. " Self-blame is an excuse not to try. The self-centered focus is on personal failure instead of the impulse to continue in spite of failure.
Often people remain unmotivated because they are afraid of success. Those who consider losing weight could say: "what if I lost weight and starting to look more attractive? How would that affect the way others me? My friend would want to date me and I don't know if I'm ready for it! " The fear of success is often a tied to the safety net of the past.
The Foundation for themselves willing to success starts with the process of setting goals. A person must start with identifying what he really wants and needs. should be redrafted to reflect in a positive way of approach events. A friend who is not happy with her life was once told me, "I know that I am withdrawing from people and I think it is bad for me." What they really need to say is, "I need to feel connected to other people; I would like to find a way to make that happen. " How we made our way of thinking frame helps us to determine the ways in which we will act on them.
It is very difficult to move forward if you don't know where you're going. Setting realistic goals is essential to increase our self-motivation. Objectives must be identified and "segmented down" in smaller steps. This motivated less overwhelming and easier to manage.
Give Yourself permission to, is a key ingredient to the creation of motivation. Often people don't have a sense of inner permission because they have relied on others to lead their lives. The fact that they have depending on others to their life makes them feel incompetent and forward-moving change makes.
Fully functioning people don't wait, they're not put off, but they act. Life is too short. The fear of the passage of time can give us a sense of urgency about changing our lives and make things right. Such a sense of urgency may create the conditions for changing the quality of our character and behavior. We have not always will take us to success. Today is the day to redeem that we put on hold.
James P. Krehbiel, Ed. s., LPC, CCBT is an author, a freelance writer and cognitive-behavioral therapist practicing in Scottsdale, Arizona. He can be reached through his Web site at http://www.krehbielcounseling.com.
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